{"id":169,"date":"2023-10-21T09:37:16","date_gmt":"2023-10-21T09:37:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/web03net.com\/gobeyondtalktherapy\/wp\/?p=169"},"modified":"2024-07-26T09:16:32","modified_gmt":"2024-07-26T09:16:32","slug":"is-your-couples-counselor-sabotaging-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kpltechsolution.us\/oldgobeyondtalktherapy\/is-your-couples-counselor-sabotaging-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Is your couples counselor sabotaging your marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"

*WARNING:\u00a0If you\u2019ve Googled \u201cHow to fix a marriage<\/strong>\u201d and called the first\u00a0couples counselor<\/strong>\u00a0that popped up you may be in for relationship derailment. You may begin to wonder, is your couples counselor sabotaging your marriage?<\/em><\/p>\n

After spending hundreds of dollars and hours of time in therapy more and more couples are coming to the same conclusion: this\u00a0counseling is sabotaging my marriage.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Sally couldn\u2019t sleep. Even though she was lying just inches away from her husband, he was a stranger to her.<\/p>\n

How long it had been since they embraced, let alone made love, she couldn\u2019t remember, mostly because she really didn\u2019t care anymore.<\/p>\n

The therapist she\u2019d dragged her \u201con-paper spouse\u201d to had insisted both of them verbalize so many dark memories, perceptions, and hang-ups.<\/p>\n

The details eluded her at 3:00 am, but the pain had been gnawing at her gut since she plopped down on that therapist\u2019s shiny leather couch.<\/p>\n

Can I fix my marriage?<\/h1>\n

The \u201cD\u201d word was echoing in her ears\u2026<\/p>\n

The stats popping up\u00a0online<\/a>\u00a0were not encouraging.<\/p>\n

The\u00a0National Survey of Family Growth<\/a>\u00a0projected the probability of a first marriage lasting 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men.<\/p>\n

A few eye-opening studies<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0caught Sally\u2019s eye: a Canadian one found lifelong single people reported better overall health than married people. Then another in Italy found lifelong singles cancer rates were the same or lower than in married people. Finally, the Australian study had her sucking harder on the last cigarette in her pack: lifelong single, childless women in their 70s had fewer major illnesses and a healthier body mass index than married women, and \u2013 they were less likely to smoke!<\/p>\n

Was she missing out? Maybe she should chuck this marriage thing and try the swinging singles scene\u2026<\/p>\n

Then she opened up an email from her friend Maureen. The excitement in the message was palatable: Maureen and Harry were going on a Caribbean cruise to renew their vows. Huh?<\/p>\n

Sally was sure that Maureen too, had sensed her\u00a0couples counselor sabotaging her marriage<\/strong>. Just months ago Maureen had told everyone how much she loved coming to book club to get away from her husband. Sally decided to call as soon as the sun came up.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when she discovered Maureen had been working with me, the\u00a0Un-talk therapist<\/strong><\/a>. The barrage of questions began \u2013 from both ends of the line.<\/p>\n

Couples counseling? No talk?<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got to be kidding! That sounds counterintuitive, Sally remarked, rebellious even.<\/p>\n

Is Your Couples Counselor Sabotaging Your Marriage?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Call it what you will, but the fact remains that 3 out of 5 couples that adhere to a traditional talk therapy regimen\u00a0end up divorcing<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Back in the 1960s, Maureen reminded her, proponents of breast-feeding were considered rebels, yet today not only every MD, but every toddler knows there\u2019s nothing more effective than mother\u2019s milk for nutrition, immune system fortification and lifelong bonding.<\/p>\n

So much for the anti-rebel argument.<\/p>\n

Maureen described in detail how I helped her and her husband devised a brain science-based marriage fortification strategy.<\/p>\n

With that tool they could begin to enhance their nutrition, immune system maintenance, and lifelong bonding \u2013 all at their own pace and intensity level.<\/p>\n

How?<\/p>\n

By defying the marriage therapy mainstream<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026which holds: let it all hang out, express your inner angst, release your inner whiner, if an emotion floats up to the surface of your consciousness sweep it up in your dogma net and flip it in your partner\u2019s face \u2013 the slimier the better.<\/p>\n

Does marriage counseling work?<\/h3>\n

It is true that in some cases, marriage counseling \u201cworks\u201d in the eyes of those couples paying for it in that it drives that final nail into the marital coffin by convincing them their relationship is not worth saving \u2013 by encouraging them to end it.<\/p>\n

Studies have found<\/a>\u00a0that approximately a quarter of couples in talk therapy report that their relationship is worse two years after quitting their sessions.<\/p>\n

38% Divorce Rate<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

A whopping 38 percent of those couples get divorced within four years of wrapping up their therapy sessions (and wiping out their bank accounts.)<\/p>\n

These psychotherapists who apply the half-century-old Freudian model would have us all talk it through and through, as they translate, and make themselves indispensable for months and even years of our lives.<\/p>\n

They create a new object of dependency that impedes partners from communicating with each other; instead of training them to communicate \u201cat\u201d each other, as if banging louder could somehow lead to stopping the noise.<\/p>\n

These \u201ctraditional therapists\u201d would have us believe that to keep your impulsive stinky thoughts to yourself is to be \u201cdishonest\u201d with your partner.<\/p>\n

In reality, spitting out each word on the tip of your tongue is a dishonest disservice to your relationship and all the effort you\u2019ve invested in it.<\/p>\n

Verbalizing your every thought sabotages your sacred goal: peaceful, successful, enjoyable communication that enhances and fortifies your marriage \u2013 or any relationship for that matter.<\/p>\n

Enter Un-talk Therapy<\/h3>\n

What I share in\u00a0Un-Talk Therapy<\/a>\u00a0is how to discern when, where and why (in scientific terms) you should choose to talk, when to interact silently and when not to interact at all.<\/p>\n

Initially, curious inquirers seem skeptical: how can you learn to save your marriage in just a few weeks when there\u2019s so much brain science to learn?<\/p>\n

They need only to chat for a few minutes with a couple that successfully employed\u00a0Un-Talk<\/strong>\u00a0and now understands the workings of their \u201clizard brain\u201d and \u201cgenius brain.\u201d<\/p>\n

When vivid visuals, concise definitions and a bit of humor coalesce in my office or Skype screen I can usually cut to the chase and inspire a custom prescription.<\/p>\n

Un-Talk Therapy<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0informs you and positions you just enough to assist you in doing what is already in your power to do.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n